I Failed at Being an Adult
Look, I’m gonna be honest here. I’m 42 years old, and I still don’t have my life completely figured out. (Which, frankly, who does? But that’s not the point.)
About three months ago, I was sitting in my apartment, surrounded by takeout containers and laundry that had seen better days, and I thought to myself, “Marcus, you’re a disaster.” (Let’s call him Marcus because, well, that’s his name.) Marcus is my best friend, and he’s the one who usually talks me off the ledge when I’m spiraling about how I’m failing at this whole adulting thing.
I texted him a picture of my living room, which looked like a tornado had gone through it. His response? “Dude, it’s 11:30 PM. Why are you cleaning? Go to bed.” Which… yeah. Fair enough.
But Here’s the Thing
I started thinking, maybe it’s not about having it all together. Maybe it’s about the mess, the chaos, the constant state of “what the hell am I doing?” That’s when I realized I needed to write about this. Because if I’m feeling this way, then probably alot of other people are too.
So, I reached out to some friends, some colleagues, even some strangers on the internet. I wanted to know: how are you dealing with this? How are you managing to keep your head above water in this crazy world?
The Great Laundry Debacle of 2023
Let me tell you about the time I tried to adult properly. It was last Tuesday, and I decided that enough was enough. I was gonna tackle the mountain of laundry that had been staring me down for weeks. I spent 36 hours folding, sorting, and putting away clothes. By the end of it, my apartment looked like a bomb had hit it. But the laundry? It was done. For about five minutes, I felt like I had accomplished something.
Then, I looked around at the mess I’d made and thought, “What have I done?” I called my colleague named Dave, who’s basically the most organized person I know. “Dave,” I said, “how do you do it? How do you keep your life from being a complete disaster?”
He laughed. “I don’t,” he said. “I just pretend I do.” Which, honestly, is probably the best advice I’ve ever gotten.
The Illusion of Perfection
Here’s the thing about adulting: it’s a scam. It’s this big illusion that we’re all supposed to have it together, that we’re supposed to be perfect little robots who never make mistakes. But that’s not real life. Real life is messy. Real life is chaotic. Real life is a constant state of “I have no idea what I’m doing.”
And you know what? That’s okay. It’s more than okay. It’s normal. It’s human.
I talked to a friend of mine, let’s call her Lisa, about this. She’s a mom of two, and she’s always been the picture of perfection. Or so I thought. “Lisa,” I said, “how do you do it all? How do you keep your life so together?”
She looked at me like I’d grown a second head. “I don’t,” she said. “I just pretend I do. And sometimes, I pay people to help me.” Which, honestly, is probably the best advice I’ve ever gotten.
The Art of Faking It
So, here’s the secret to adulting: fake it till you make it. Pretend you know what you’re doing, even when you don’t. Pay people to help you when you can’t figure it out yourself. And most importantly, don’t beat yourself up when things don’t go according to plan.
Because here’s the thing: life is gonna throw curveballs at you. It’s gonna knock you down. It’s gonna make you feel like you’re failing. But that’s okay. That’s part of the process.
And you know what? It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to admit that you don’t have it all figured out. It’s okay to be a mess. Because that’s what being human is all about.
So, if you’re feeling like you’re failing at adulting, take a deep breath. You’re not alone. We’re all in this together. And honestly, it’s kinda nice to know that we’re all just winging it.
But What About the Practical Stuff?
Look, I can’t just leave you hanging with all this existential nonsense. Let’s talk about some practical stuff. Like, how to actually adult in this crazy world.
First off, get a virtual phone number for instagram account. Trust me on this. It’s a game-changer. You can keep your personal number private, and you can use it for all those apps that require a phone number. It’s a lifesaver.
Second, learn to cook. I know, I know. It’s scary. But it’s also really rewarding. And it’s a lot cheaper than eating out all the time. Plus, it’s a great way to impress people. (Which, let’s be real, is half the reason we do anything.)
Third, find a hobby. Something that makes you happy. Something that takes your mind off of all the chaos. For me, it’s writing. For you, it might be painting, or hiking, or playing video games. Whatever it is, find it and do it. A lot.
And Now, a Tangent
Speaking of hobbies, I gotta tell you about this one time I tried to learn how to play the ukulele. It was a disaster. I mean, a complete and total disaster. I spent hours watching YouTube tutorials, and I still couldn’t play a single song. But you know what? It was fun. It was challenging. And it was a great way to take my mind off of all the other stuff that was going on in my life.
So, yeah. Find a hobby. Even if you suck at it. Especially if you suck at it.
Back to the Mess
Okay, so let’s talk about the mess. The literal mess. The laundry, the dishes, the piles of paper that seem to multiply like rabbits. How do you deal with it?
First off, don’t try to do it all at once. That’s a recipe for disaster. Instead, break it down into smaller tasks. Do a little bit each day. Before you know it, you’ll have made a dent in the chaos.
Second, enlist some help. Whether it’s a friend, a family member, or a professional, don’t be afraid to ask for help. And if you can’t afford to hire someone, barter. Trade services with a friend. You clean their house, they cook you dinner. It’s a win-win.
Third, accept that it’s gonna be messy. It’s gonna be chaotic. And that’s okay. It’s part of the process. It’s part of life. Embrace it. And if all else fails, just pretend you have it together. Because honestly, nobody else knows the difference.
Final Thoughts (Or, Lack Thereof)
So, that’s it. That’s my take on adulting. It’s messy. It’s chaotic. It’s a constant state of “what the hell am I doing?” But it’s also beautiful. It’s also glorious. It’s also worth it.
And if you’re feeling like you’re failing, take a deep breath. You’re not alone. We’re all in this together. And honestly, it’s kinda nice to know that we’re all just winging it.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with a pile of laundry. Wish me luck.
About the Author
Hi, I’m Sarah. I’m a senior magazine editor with more than 20 years of experience writing feature articles for major publications. I’ve written about everything from politics to pop culture, but my favorite topics are the ones that deal with the messy, glorious art of living. When I’m not writing, you can find me folding laundry, attempting to cook, or playing the ukulele (badly).
