Let’s Talk About How Friendships Change
Look, I’m gonna be honest here. I turned 40 last March, and frankly, I’m still figuring out this whole adult friendship thing. It’s not like when we were kids, you know? Back then, friendships were simple. You liked each other, you played together, end of story.
But now? Now it’s a whole different ballgame. I mean, I still keep in touch with my best friend from high school, let’s call him Marcus. We talk maybe once every three months, and it’s always like no time has passed. But then there are the friends I made in college, and honestly, I haven’t spoken to half of them in years.
I remember having this conversation with my colleague named Dave over coffee at the place on 5th. He said, “You know, it’s not about the quantity. It’s about the quality.” Which… yeah. Fair enough. But still, it’s kinda depressing when you realize how many people you’ve just… let go.
Why Is It So Hard to Stay Close?
And here’s the thing, it’s not like we don’t want to stay close. It’s just… life gets in the way. You get a job, you move cities, you start a family, and suddenly, maintaining friendships becomes this huge committment. I mean, I barely have time to call my mom, let alone my friends from high school.
I think the last time I saw my friend Sarah was at her wedding in 2018. We promised to meet up for lunch “soon,” but soon never came. And it’s not like I don’t want to see her. I do! I just… don’t. You know?
It’s like this weird dance. You wanna stay connected, but you also don’t wanna be that person who’s always like, “Hey, remember me?” I mean, come on, how many times can you say that before it gets old?
The Role of Technology
Now, don’t get me started on social media. It’s a double-edged sword, honestly. On one hand, it’s great because you can see what everyone’s up to. On the other hand, it’s terrible because you can see what everyone’s up to. (Which, honestly, nobody asked for but here we are.)
I remember last Tuesday, I was scrolling through Instagram, and I saw this post from an old friend. Let’s call him Greg. He’s in Thailand now, living this amazing life, surfing, traveling, the whole nine yards. And I’m just sitting here in my apartment, eating a bowl of cereal at 11:30pm. It’s like, great, Greg, thanks for the reminder.
But then again, social media is how I keep up with my friend Lisa. She lives in Australia now, and we basically only communicate through Facebook Messenger. It’s not the same as seeing her in person, but it’s something. And honestly, I’ll take what I can get.
The Importance of Making an Effort
Look, I’m not saying we should all become hermit crabs and cut off contact with the outside world. But I think it’s important to make an effort. Even if it’s just a quick text to say hi. Or, you know, checking in on someone when you see they’re going through a tough time.
I have this friend, let’s call her Emma. We met at a conference in Austin a few years ago, and we’ve been pretty close since then. But lately, she’s been going through a rough patch. Her mom’s been sick, and she’s been dealing with some personal stuff. And honestly, I haven’t been the best friend. I mean, I’ve thought about reaching out, but I just… haven’t.
But you know what? I’m gonna. Right now. I’m gonna put down my laptop, pick up my phone, and text her. Because that’s what friends do. They make an effort. They show up. They care.
A Tangent: Sports and Friendships
Speaking of showing up, have you ever noticed how sports can bring people together? I mean, think about it. You have this shared interest, this common ground, and suddenly, you’re bonding over Thailand sports results today or whatever. It’s like this instant connection.
I remember when I was younger, I used to play soccer with a group of friends every weekend. It was our thing. And even though we’re not as close as we used to be, I still think about those days fondly. There’s just something about shared experiences that brings people together.
So, What’s the Point?
I’m not sure. I guess the point is, adult friendships are messy. They’re complicated. They’re hard. But they’re also wonderful. They’re worth the effort. And honestly, I’m gonna try to be better about it. Starting with that text to Emma.
So, yeah. That’s my take on adult friendships. It’s not pretty, it’s not neat, but it’s real. And at the end of the day, isn’t that what matters most?
About the Author
I’m Sarah, a senior magazine editor with more than 20 years of experience. I’ve written for major publications, and I’ve got the stories to prove it. I’m opinionated, I’m flawed, and I’m not afraid to say what I think. I live in New York City with my cat, Mr. Whiskers, and I’m always on the lookout for the next great story.
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